Finally for the very first time in my life, just yesterday I got to try VEGEMITE, that “stuff” you hear about that’s so popular in the “Land Down Under” of Australia.
Aptly called a Yeast Extract, it looks and smells more like Beef Bouillon in a paste-like form.
The manufacturer’s website claims it’s high in B vitamins, however after tasting it, I’d say its highest “nutritional” content is SALT.
Now, with a name like “Vegemite”, you might be thinking a fellah’ like Popeye would be eatin’ this stuff up all day, along with his Spinach, right?
However, when you see what Vegemite looks like upon opening the jar top, unless you THINK like Popeye, you may feel otherwise…
That may look like chocolate, however trust me, it’s the farthest thing from it, flavor-wise.
Actually, this jar of Vegemite landed on our office lunch room table, with no note on how to eat it. Only a package of soda crackers on the side to eat it with. And that’s just WRONG. More than wrong, that’s outright CRUEL.
So not bothering to search online first, I just went for it and spread a whole heapful of Vegemite on one of them soda crackers….
And? Dude. Whoah! First of all, this s#%# is SALTY. As said previously, it pretty much tastes like a “hoppy” Beef Bouillon.
Being technically a Brewer’s Yeast, another way to describe its bitter flavor profile is like taking Guinness Stout (beer) and boiling the crap out of it until you’re left with a syrup, then converting that into a paste.
So I don’t get it. Why on earth anyone enjoys a somewhat bitter, overly salty, beef bouillon-like paste as a snack spread or condiment is beyond me.
Thankfully the fellah who put it on the lunch table walked back in and casually asked me, “How do you like it?” To which I straight-up replied, “Dude, this $#%# SUCKS!” He just laughed in an almost “Gotcha’, Sucka!” sorta’ way, then suggested, “Well, it looks like you put too much on your cracker. Try a lighter spread of Vegemite.” So that’s what I did….
And? It’s essentially a “less sucks” version of a thickly spread “completely sucks” cracker of Vegemite.
So of course I had to get Diner E on board, to which he quickly went online to see how to eat Vegemite the proper way. To which it turns out the most popular way is simply spread on toasted bread with butter. So that’s what we did…
After being toasted, with the butter melted in, now let’s try this here TRUE Vegemite Sandwich, just like the Men At Work “Land Down Under” song…
And? It still sucks. I’m sorry. It’s bitter, salty, yeasty, and way too savory and “Umami-fied”… more so than even shoyu. Not to mention, the color/appearance is just way too off-putting.
My final attempt at “Vegemite Redemption” is to try adding some Guava Jelly to it…
And? It’s MUCH BETTER, however, the Guava Jelly is simply cloaking that HORRID flavor of the Vegemite.
Incredibly, Vegemite gets lots of love by reviewers on Amazon, to which I say B.S. Those are paid reviews. Gotta’ be. There is just no way there could be that much love for Vegemite. To put it this way: I’d rather eat a dozen Balut, than eat one full jar of Vegemite.
When it comes to spreads in a jar, after now being able to say I finally tried Vegemite, all I gotta’ say is, thank GOD I discovered Biscoff!….
Who makes it? Kraft Australia division
Where did you get it and how much was it? An office coworker, free (thank God!)
Big shaka to: Nothing
No shaka to: Everything
The Tasty Island rating: – (minus) 10 SPAM Musubi