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TAKONADO. Intentionally “crude” digital rendering by Pomai, The Tasty Island. 10.15.14

While having personally experienced both Hurricane Iniki in September 1992 on the south shore of Honolulu, as well as Hurricane Iwa in November 1982 in Kaneohe, Windward Oahu (Iwa was more scary to me), I surely am taking the threat of what is still currently Tropical Storm Ana very seriously.

Yet hey, sometimes when life throws lemons, you try to make lemonade out of it, right? Or Tako Poke. Or a movie concept so ridiculous that you gotta’ “LOL” over what’s known as “Sharknado” one step further with, alas, “Takonado”! Grrrrrr!! Rarrrrrhhh!!! *makes super cheesy B movie sea monster sounds*

At the very least, “Takonado” could be a catchy name for a new style of Tako Sushi. Or perhaps an Octopus-based Smoothie? **shudders**

I’m pretty sure you understand the suggestive tag line, “This ain’t no Luau!” If not, here’s a hint…

Squid Luau from Highway Inn Kaka’ako

I once got into a debate with Auntie Lynn Vasquez over at HawaiiThreads.com over whether “Squid Luau” uses Hawaiian Octopus, a.k.a. “Tako” in Japanese or “He’e” in Hawaiian. Or whether it uses Squid, which are typically imported to Hawaii from New Zealand. While she insisted the opposite, I insisted true Hawaiian “Squid” Luau, which obviously is a misnomer for Octopus, is made with Tako caught in Hawaii, not store-bought squid, known in Japanese as Ika..

However that’s a debate not to be concerned about right now. Here’s more posts all about Tako from the Tasty Island archives…

Laing – Filipino version of Hawaiian Squid Luau.. masarap!

Smoked Tako (Hawaiian He’e Octopus), prepared 4 + 3 Ways

Tako Poke

Takoyaki Yamachan

Look out for flyin’ Hawaiian Tako and stay safe!

P.S. Here’s the original, as well as more spoof movie concept posters found around the web, spun off from what is now the cult classic film “Sharknado”…

14 thoughts on “Takonado!

  • October 16, 2014 at 10:09 am

    This bad for someone like me who born in Hawaii and never had squid luau before.

    Now I must have some but where is good place?  Tacoyaki lot of time and tako poke.

  • October 16, 2014 at 10:41 am

    @ Amy – As shown in this post, the Kaka’ako Highway Inn served a mighty ono Squid Luau.


    @ Andy – Ana at this moment point lost some size and organization, however the eye is still churning well in tight formation. It can definitely still reorganize as it moves over warmer waters. Let’s cross our fingers it stays more on a westerly heading.

  • October 16, 2014 at 12:08 pm

    I was born and raised in Rhode Island (New England) and in my life-time living there before moving to Hawaii I experienced 47 Tropical Storms/Hurricanes up to Category 3 strength. I even survived 1 hurricane camping in an 8’X8’ tent in Vermont because I thought hurricane in VT—never happen but it did!
    Oct 15, Ana was projected to pass within 17 miles of Barbers Point packing sustained winds of 80.6 mph and totally rake the whole leeward side of Oahu.
    Today Oct 16 as of last report Ana is projected to pass within 62 miles of Barbers Point packing sustained winds of 57.6 mph.
    Tropical Storm Ana final direction and power will be determined when Ana completes the turn to the north and then jogs back to west. That will happen Oct 17 and 18 when it is about 150 miles from South Point on the Big Island of Hawaii.
    Best part of this is the tracking has moved over 100 mile to the south as Ana was original forecasted to directly hit Hilo and now forecasted to track south of Niihau.
    For emergency supplies I ordered from Emergency Essentials located in Utah: http://beprepared.com/
     I purchased Mountain House freeze dried full meals (breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacks) 12-year shelf life at discounted price, packaged water 5-year shelf life in 1 to 2 cup size and bulk water in 30-year shelf life cans plus an Aqua Pod Kit water bladder you place in bathtub and fill with 65 gallons of water (comes with a hand pump). I can shelter in place or live out of my backpack 2 weeks with 3 hot meals a day.

  • October 16, 2014 at 12:49 pm


    FORTY-SEVEN TROPICAL STORMS/HURRICANES in your lfetime? Crazy! I think I’m going to change your nickname from “Mahaka Renaissance Man” to “Lucky Ken”!

    Did you have to evacuate to any shelters for any of them? That’s what I’d dread having to do, more so than dealing with the storm itself. I’m quite confident in the structural strength of the building I live in, thank goodness.

    I remember you going over your whole survival kit list in the post I did when TS Iselle was on its way. Very impressive! IIRC, I told you back then that the owner of the Military Discount Warehouse store in Mapunapuna told me that she always sells out of MREs during pre-storm hording frenzies.

  • October 16, 2014 at 3:00 pm

    My dad went Spam crazy recently for the storms and hurricanes.  Mom is not happy

    for no way live on spams.  So she went and got other things of important need.  Dad

    said he can eat many dishes with spams but mom said not every day please!

  • October 16, 2014 at 5:03 pm

    Well, I have been thru four. Nina, Dot, Iwa, and Iniki. Plus assorted tsunami. The best thing for a big one is a gas grill, a Korean BBQ, and fill the water from the faucet. Men piss outside.

    I am a huge he’e or tako fan. Now days the restaurant squid luau sort of has the taste, but no squid. I don’t dive anymore. However in times I found a package of chopped octopus, precooked, at Avery reasonable price. And I bought to try in luau, ciopino, or spaghetti.



  • October 16, 2014 at 5:08 pm

    Yes 47! I counted them up from archives listing. No evacuation required because my family lived away from the shore inland but my father was a hero saving all his store employees leaving himself vulnerable hanging on to a floating log in rising waters which topped out at over 13 ft. of water flooding the capital city of Providence, RI during the Great New England Hurricane of 1938.
    I feel very lucky surviving the hurricane in Vermont in the tent because I could hear through-out the night trees being uprooted and crashing down around me.
    I am at the 200 ft. elevation above the beach. When HI EMA evacuates the low lying area residents they bring them up to where I am. I am in a gated/guarded condominium compound so they can’t get in so they setup tents and have a block party.
    I can shelter in place for 30 days but if I have to evacuate because of structural damage to my condo unit that is where my backpack of emergency food/water/clothing/tent/bedding/sanitary hygiene items/personal items comes into play. I am self-sufficient for 2 weeks in an evacuation shelter, camping out somewhere in the valley or on the beach. I don’t need to replace the water for 5-years and food for 12 years plus. You’ll not see me running to the stores to stock up every time there is an emergency!
    I almost started purchasing MRE’s but after I looked at the shelf-live stored at our local temperatures I was turned off. They have a short shelf-life of about 3 years and are high in high fat, low fiber, high sodium plus they have a tendency to cause constipation (in war combat you don’t have field toilets that you can run to). I spent 2 years combat in Vietnam and I learned to stay out of the military mess halls and eat local food, WWII C rations and Japanese food sent to my buddy from his family.
    Mountain House (MH) is the largest freeze dried food maker in the US. Their whole meals are very tasty and require 1 to 2 cups of water to reconstitute. Local Sports Authority in Hawaii sells MH at markup over MSRP price but I found Emergency Essentials sells MH at discount below Sports Authority and MSRP price. The foil backpacking camping meal packs have a 12-year minimum shelf-life and up to 30-years. The #10 cans have a 30-year shelf life and feed up to 10 people. A serving is based on a single cup which is not much so I get 2 to 2.5 serving pouches for myself.
    I love the MH Sweet and Sour Pork with rice, New Orleans Style Rice with Shrimp and Ham, Apple Crisp, Mexican Style Rice and Chicken, Chicken Teriyaki with Rice, Turkey Tetrazzini, Beef Stew, Fire Roasted Vegetables Blend, Scramble Eggs with Ham and Red and Green Pepper, Beef Lasagna, Biscuits and Gravy, Seafood Chowder plus Ice Cream and you can eat right out of the pouches so no plates and bowls are required. There is a large selection of meal choices.
    If you don’t feel like cooking you boil some water and grab a MH entrée and instant hot meal in 10 min or less!

  • October 17, 2014 at 3:15 am

    @ Ken – How AMAZING is that story about the heroics of your pops. 13 feet of flooding water must have been scary as hell!

    I forget the name of the type of tree, but the news reports were saying something about Oahu having those same ones that caused so much problems from Iselle in Puna on the Big Island. I understand Ewa Beach is one area that has lots of those types. And Puna.

    A block party? lol

    The idea that you, as a single guy will never be seen hoarding store shelves ahead of a potential disaster sounds VERY appealing to me. Multiply that solution times number of people in household, and there ya’ go! Ken, I need to do an interview with you on Emergency Preparedness. Seriously.

    Regarding MREs and C-rations, the owner of Military HQ in Mapunapuna told me NEVER to eat a can of C-Ration, should anyone come across one, as you can get botulism.

    Thanks for the tip on Mountain House. Glad to hear it’s at least TASTY! And what a variety of good sounding eats! I take it they provide meals for NASA. I could go for that in outer space. :-) I am most definitely going to have to blog meals from Mountain House! Mahalo for the awesome tip!

    @ pat – were you on Kauai during those 4 hurricanes? I know Iniki totally DEVASTATED Kauai, especially the west coast Kekaha area. Homes completely leveled. And of course put the nail in the coffin on the other side of the island at the famous Coco Palms Resort. I  hope they rebuild Coco Palms back to the splendor of its glory days. I know there’s a group working on it. Whatever the case, thankfully Ana has so far taken a more western heading, hopefully mostly missing Oahu and Kauai. **crosses fingers and prays**

    @ Kelike – regarding your dad hoarding SPAM for a civil emergency, I SO have an idea for our annual office Halloween costume contest this year. Stay tuned!





  • October 17, 2014 at 7:38 am

    I was on Kauai. Our beach house in Kekaha was lost. My mothers house destroyed. My house needed a new roof. No electricity for three weeks. They have an emergency water protocol that worked beautifully. ( learned from Iwa experience). so we had water in three days. Kauai lost one third of its housing stock. Eighty percent of more damaged. Four houses burned down by generator mishaps. Many, many people injured. In fact I was treated by a  veterinarian for painful injury. She did a fabulous job. Way faster than busy clinics or over crowded emergency room.

    I don’t think Oahu has a chance. The FEMA director said he never saw a community so prepared. Tents, out door stoves, community cook kitchens, roof tarps, water trucks, volunteer street cleaning, dump sites, etc. all rolled out in 24 hours. Two arrested for looting. Arrested and tried by a jury in two weeks. Ten years for each.

  • October 17, 2014 at 7:00 pm

    Yea—my dad was a trip! He had 3 honorary PhDs bestowed on him from three different universities and colleges but never graduated High School because when his mother and father divorced he had to quit school to become the man of the house and provide for the family. He did a great job too financing my aunt through Pembroke College, Yale and Harvard Universities where she finally received her PhD from Brown University in Child Psychology, and they gave her a job in research and she co-authored a book on the subject. Dad received the highest Navy civilian award for his 27 years of work, was invited to dinner in the White House for other things he did and represented the U.S.A. in China when it first opened up for Historic Preservation. He played a role in the design of the Seabee’s Quonset Hut and designs for first rockets launched from fixed-wing Navy aircraft. He sat on Board of Directors for National Park Trust and Board of Directors for financial investment firms.
    You are talking about the invasive species “albizia” trees and they are all over Oahu!
    You should have seen it up here in Makaha Valley during the tsunami scare! It was party time with all the BBQs, tents and music! Coolers had more beer than they had water LoL! It was a great neighborhood party!!!
    When you look at it I don’t need to do anything for the next 30 years for emergency preparedness.  All my food is freeze dried shelf-stable for 12 to 30 years and all my water is shelf-stable for 5 to 30 years plus I have the bathroom tub AquaPod emergency water storage bladder ($24) that I can fill with 65 gallons of faucet water and use the included hand pump to fill toilet, pots and pans or wash basin.
    Water purchased in plastic bottles is good for till the “expiration date printed on the bottle”. The water I purchase for emergencies is packaged for FEMA, Coast Guard boat survival and aircraft long term survival kits in special packaging shelf-life 5-years and 30 year-cans.
    If end of shelf life nears I just eat the meal and drink the water and order replacement via computer or toll-free phone call and it gets delivered to my front door! You’ll never see me in the store in a purchasing frenzy!!
    My toilet is the luxury Toto Neorest 600 Washlet Toilet ($6,200) which is all hands free with hand-held remote control and you don’t need to use toilet paper when it is finished cleaning you. In case of power loss it has a manual over-ride. So yea in case of an emergency I don’t even need to run out looking for toilet paper!
    I spent over 26 years working with FEMA and RI EMA people. The last 10 years I managed and repaired all the state video teleconferencing training center classrooms for RI National Guard and was the New England coordinator for the New England states. All of the state-wide hurricane disaster training and storm surge preparedness training was done in my classrooms by NOAA/NWS as well as all the medical training for National Guard.
    All my classrooms were ranked by National Guard Bureau, Washington, DC as one of the top 10 in the nation and all the territories for training and readiness. The emergency network ties all 54 states and territories together plus we had links to the International Space Station and all countries in the world with voice/video/data in case of an emergency and during 911 New Jersey classrooms stood up to replace the lost communications links that were destroyed when tower 2 collapsed wiping out the regional telephone system.
    You also have to remember I managed and did all the repair and calibration for of all electrical, electronic, mechanical test equipment and high pressure steam water distillation system for the State of RI Department of Health Division of Laboratories and State Medical Examiner. I had to understand all tests related to public health, airborne disease, germs, criminal forensics, animal disease, poisons and air pollution and what instruments were used in the tests and the precision of reliability for court cases so the scientists could do their work.
    I also would not eat a WWII C-ration in this day in age although a can of fruit cake and can of beans and wieners in tomato sauce might tempt me if the cans are not dented of puffed up.
    Oregon Freeze Dry maker of Mountain House freeze dried meals is the largest freeze dried food producer in the U.S.A. with 6 plants also in 3 countries. Yes they make food for NASA, Military and FEMA.: http://www.ofd.com/ They do make NASA freeze dried ice cream for sale; just add cold water and it taste great along with their freeze dried ice cream sandwich!

    • October 19, 2014 at 9:12 am

      Ken, woww, with bothe parrents so highlee edukated, no wunder you yourcelf are such a rennaisance man! <T-hee!>

      Ah yes, Albizia trees. Diner E, also from Ewa Beach, says Albizia trees are all over the area there, and a real threat to their main power lines that supply that entire west Oahu community.

      Regarding the party in Makaha during the tsunami scare, I always make sure I have as much beer and wine in stock as I do water, if not more of the former. lol

      That AquaPod is something I want to get as well. There’s another brand called WaterBOB that does the same thing. Stores 100 gallons of potable water, including a siphon pump to dispense it on the on top. Pretty neat!

      Ken, do me a HUGE favor: take good photos of your entire survival “kit”. I’d really love to do a Tasty Island surrogate post on your behalf titled “Emergency Preparedness in Hawaii According to Ken”. That would be so AWESOME!

      I take it most folks drink the overstocked bottled water they buy just ahead of a hurricane or tsunami threat. I do. Never keep it stored. As for never seeing you in a store in a purchasing frenzy, that’s seriously becoming my obsession as well. I so don’t want to be seen in a store doing that! That’s why I want to share your incredible emergency preparedness tips!

      The problem with the highrise I live in, is it doesn’t have a back-up generator to pump water into the units when the power’s out. So no power means no water, means no toilet use, unless we have enough water stored in containers just for flushing the toilet. Which is why I really want to get that WaterBOB. As of now, I keep extra water in huge plastic jugs just for the toilet.

      OK, add on top of all the other experience in your incredible life, you also worked with FEMA and RI EMA as technician and teacher on the subject? Sheesh! I’m just speechless. Yet even more that makes you a very qualified source for my “Emergency Preparedness in Hawaii According to Ken” post!

      Regarding C-Rations, how did they compare to today’s MREs? I take it most of them sucked. Regarding Oregon Freeze Dry, would you recommend military-spec MREs as a good thing to stock-up on for emergency preparedness? Or is the stuff you get from BePrepared.com more economical and/or better tasting?

      Now a Freeze-dried Ice Cream Sandwich? GTFO! THAT, I gotta’ try!

      One last thing on the subject: how’s the weather been out there in Makaha as Ana passes near south of us? It’s been just steadily raining in Waikiki, however not heavy. More of a steady medium rainfall rate, with barely any wind. Very humid of course. No power outages (crosses fingers it stays that way!). In other words, pretty much a non-event. According to the news, Kauai is experiencing downed trees and power outages. Niihau will probably get hit hard as well. Let’s hope for the best.

  • October 19, 2014 at 3:24 pm

    C-Rations were very good tasting hot or cold! You had to heat in a mess kit or pot of boiling water. I loved them! MREs I’ve tasted are alright hot or cold. The flameless heaters can be tricky to use as they must be at an upright angle.
    I have 2 cases (12) of Mountain House flameless ovens and each oven is good for 5 uses giving me 60 hot meals or 20 days of hot meals. The ovens are designed to stand straight up and you pour in water, insert the meal pouch into it and seal the top; wait 20 min. Open and you have a 100 F+ degree hot meal! You can use ovens in a tent or in the house.
    MREs I would not recommend living off them because they have a tendency to cause constipation. MREs also have a very short shelf life about 3-5 years in Hawaii temperatures. You cannot purchase military MREs but you can purchase civilian knock off copycat MREs. Military specific version MRE stored at 100 F degrees has a shelf life of 6 months and if stored at 60 F degrees has a shelf life of 60 months.
    Oregon Freeze Dry does not sell to public their military or NASA versions of its food. The civilian version of Oregon Freeze Dry is Mountain House Freeze Dried Foods in backpacking size, camping size and bulk emergency preparedness size. Pouches have a shelf life of 12+ years and cans have shelf life of 30 years.
    Emergency Essentials Company: BePrepared.com is the only online store I’ve found that sells the Mountain House backpacking size “Pro-Pak®” which are single user meals. They are really compact packaging taking up minimal space but when rehydrated they cook into 2 full cup meals. You can also order directly from Mountain House website.
    You can purchase Mountain House freeze-dried Neapolitan Ice Cream (Classic chocolate, strawberry and vanilla ice cream) and Mountain House freeze-dried Ice Cream Sandwich (A layer of delicious vanilla ice cream sandwiched between two chocolate cookie wafers). Just add cold water!
    You can go to any Sports Authority in Honolulu and purchase Mountain House in the camping section. Each Sports Authority has different supplies but I found the one in Ward Centers has most stock of Mountain House. Just remember they are charging a markup over MSRP price.
     It was sunny up until late Saturday afternoon in Makaha and then the steady but light rain started moving in. A few light gusts of wind and that was it! No humidity in Makaha! Today I have water on my lanai so that means last night the wind picked up from west but today it has been a very light rain. Ana did a 90 degree turn away from Niihau according to the tracking and went around Niihau.

  • October 19, 2014 at 10:50 pm

    I had the squid luau today from Fresh Catch, Kaneohe side today.  Freaking amazing. Not a fan of sweet anything really, but this is a sweet dish…literally and figuratively.  Not positive, but pretty sure it was tako and not calamari.

    Definitely would hit it again.


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