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“Houdini” the Bread Tie

Kitchen Pet Peeves

If you search the web on the subject of “pet peeves in the kitchen”, not surprisingly, you’ll find most folks share a common overall peeve: LACK of CLEANLINESS. From the food, dishes, cookware, utensils, gadgets, appliances, countertops, cabinets, backsplash, walls, ceiling and floors, to the chemicals and equipment used to clean it.

Yet of course lack of cleanliness isn’t the only thing to get under folks skin.

I bring this up out of frustration I suffered from an “incident” that happened recently which seems to recur for me.

“Houdini” the Bread Tie

This happened to me yet again the other morning while making a sandwich to take to work. I grabbed the loaf of bread, opened it, not thinking twice about where I placed the plastic bread tie on the countertop, taking this minute, yet important observation for granted.

I then hurriedly proceeded to the fridge and pantry to grab the rest of the sandwich ingredients and go on to make the sandwich, only to discover as I’m ready to put things away, that I can’t find the bread tie… again! Arggghhhhh!

Then it takes me as long to finally find the dang bread tie as it did to make the friggin’ sandwich!

And where was is it? Apparently it must have stuck to my mayonnaise-coated chef’s knife on the chopping board, as when I first lifted it up to look on the board (not under the knife), I swear it wasn’t there. Then when I went back again to check twice, there it was right under the knife, resting “innocently” on the chopping board. WTH?!!!

And I know I could easily just reach in a drawer for a back-up tie, but still, it’s the principle of it. Where the eff did the one I just had go?!

“Houdini” the Patis

Ever prepare a dish, “knowing” for sure you had all the ingredients, yet it never fails, there’s that one item (or more) that seems to have played “Houdini” on you?

The most recent for me was an almost new bottle of Patis I only used a few drops of several months ago, and never touched the bottle in the refrigerator since.

I swear I left it on the refrigerator door’s (long forgotten) bottom shelf, tucked between the Ohana Seafoods Misoyaki Sauce and Lee Kum Kee Hoisin (both also of which haven’t used for a while). I’m about to start making this Filipino dish called Ginisang Upo, when I go into the fridge for the Patis and POOF. The Patis is nowhere to be found, even after almost completely overhauling the fridge. Zippo.

I’m freakin’ STEAMING MAD, as now I have to run to the store for a new bottle of Patis I KNOW I have, and I HARDLY EVER USE. Then a week later, where does the original bottle of Patis show up? Right there where it was supposed to be.

Now I have two bottles of Patis that will end up hiding from me again. And then watch, next time I need the Hoisin, that’s going to be “playing Houdini” on me, too!

What’s funny is these can actually be considered self-caused pet peeves out of simply being mindless where I put things. Either that, or there’s a ghost in my kitchen hiding things from me?

Perhaps I should take one of them home organization workshops. Or a workshop on “How to effectively look for and find something that’s been misplaced”. lol

Also, I think I need brighter lighting in my kitchen, lit like an operating room so I can really see and find EVERYTHING, including inside every kitchen cabinet.


The “Serial Kitchen Cabinet Door Leaver Opener”

More amusing kitchen peeves I’ve read on other forums, and also some additions I’ve listed that I can personally relate to:

• The “Serial Kitchen Cabinet Door Leaver Opener” (guilty as charged!)
• The “Serial Packages, Bottles and Jars Leaver Opener” (not resealing them properly or at all)
• The “Serial Kitchen Trash is Full and piling over Non-Emptier” (change the damned bag!)
• The “Compulsive Canned Goods on Sale Hoarder” (you have enough canned corn, tomato sauce and chicken stock to start your own soup company)
• The “Armchair Sous Chef” (someone not doing the cooking constantly telling you how to cook the dish(es) you’re preparing)
• Guests who offer to help you cook, that end up not knowing how to cook or prepare food at all (What is this, a cooking school?)
• Guests who INSIST to help you cook and clean in the kitchen when you DON’T WANT any HELP!… yet they keep insisting!
• Fast food condiment hoarders (saving McDonald’s ketchup packets from 10 years ago)
• The Ajax (or Comet) and Scouring Pad Misuser & Abuser (there goes that beautiful factory finish on your brand new stainless steel refrigerator)
• Mixing the chopsticks with the other utensils in the drawer (this one really p#sses me off! I hate fumbling for matching chopsticks between forks and knives!)
• Putting the shoyu bottle (or whatever else) back in the refrigerator or pantry EMPTY (refill it or throw it away!)
• Not kahi’ing the poi bowl (cleaning the excess poi stuck to the side of the bowl)

What unique pet peeves do you have in the kitchen?


10 thoughts on ““Houdini” the Bread Tie

  • June 20, 2014 at 3:26 pm

    Instead of throwing them away, I keep a few extra bread bag ties around for those bags that don’t come with them (Costco bagels come to mind). If I lose track of one I can just pick up another one from the pile on top of the microwave.

  • June 20, 2014 at 7:31 pm

    I used to have a friend who would stay with me when he visited from off island. He had a disgusting habit of using his fingers to get pickles, kimchi, takuan or whatever, out of jars then put the lid back on and return to the fridge. Nope, may as well take the jar with you because I will toss the jar as soon as you leave. I guess out of politeness I could never bring myself to say anything but inside I was screaming “use a gd fork!”.

  • June 21, 2014 at 3:59 am

    Well first of I unable to cook in a messy kitchen. I need it in order to do so. I always make sure to have all the right ingredients to cook a dish well. If not head to store to get all ingredients needed to do so first.

  • June 21, 2014 at 12:36 pm

    Where is my other sock?

  • June 21, 2014 at 12:43 pm

    @ Debbie-Chan – OMG, don’t even get me started on socks. “Where is my other matching sock?” is the story of my life every morning before work!

    @ Amy – I’m definitely the type who cleans as I cook. Especially when it comes to dirty pots and pans. I CANNOT work in a kitchen with dirty dishes and pots ‘n pans in the sink!

    @ Lisa – I hate to admit it,but I do that sometimes at home, especially with the jar of Kim Chee. However, I’m the only one eating that jar of Kim Chee, so it doesn’t matter. At least all those items are pickled and preserved with vinegar, so spoilage shouldn’t be a problem.

    Speaking of which, how about catching someone in your household drinking the milk or juice straight out of the carton? That’s always a p#sser. Especially the milk, as the bacteria from the person’s mouth can spoil and cause the milk to sour and curdle prematurely if any backwash occurs. Eeeeew.

    @ Kyle – Funny, the top of the microwave is where I used to keep nick-nack kitchen stuff like like that as well. I had tray with rubber bands, ties, bottle opener… stuffs laddat’. Now I have a microhood, so that stuff went back in the drawer.

  • June 21, 2014 at 3:34 pm

    Pomai, glad you are a neat freak too in kitchen good habit. Worked in restaurants is same with me at home. Clean and everything in order in cooking. I keep lot gloves for kitchen in handling food. My sisters know to tie hair back when cooking too.

  • June 22, 2014 at 2:53 am

    Who’s kitchen is that…although messy it’s a well equipped with good cabinets with a view of the yard.

  • June 25, 2014 at 9:24 am

    My kitchen pet peeve is the person (who shall remain nameless, let’s just call him the husband) who leaves his used napkin on his plate and puts it in the sink. This also goes for beer bottle caps that are left on a plate next to the sink which, inevitably, go unnoticed until they start grinding in the garbage disposal.

  • June 25, 2014 at 2:44 pm

    I always lose the ties so I learned from my mom to use clothes pins. Works better and easier. I spin the bread bag closed and then pin ’em. I use them to close nearly anything that needs to be secured closed like potato chip bags, they stay really fresh using the pins. My starbucks coffee, the rice bag, etc. If they’re an eye sore I think the office stationary stores have some cool ones for office use such as shiny metallic, or if you’re crafty make a few.

    Or I learned watching the Phil Donahue he would spin the bread bag and then fold the top portion inside out and no need for clips Yup showing my age as this was before he married Marlo Thomas and was a single dad of boys.

    For storing food I always have a magic marker and write what the item is inside and the date opened/stored. After a month in the freezer, the hamburger becomes mystery meat not knowing what year it was opened. So when I’m digging thru the freezer I can easily see what I have and what I keep or toss. That’s why I prefer plastic bags for food storage vs. containers. EZ to write and EZ to see.

  • June 25, 2014 at 2:47 pm

    One more cheap EZ helper in the kitchen other than the clothes pins. Binder clips, they’re not only great in the office but in the kitchen too. To clipping small packets of sauce or food closed to the large of also clipping snacks closed. In the office kitchen we always used paper clips or binder clips to seal stuff. What works in the office works in the kitchen too.


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