web analytics

The Milky Way Story


A Pandoran Alien posing as a Hawaiian Tako

iQUESTION

Imagine if E.T. finally phoned home and was hungry. If you had to select one dish to serve to intelligent extraterrestrial beings, what would you choose to serve them and why would you choose that dish? Underscore INTELLIGENT beings from another planet and galaxy who have similar biological dietary needs as us humans, yet with the presumption that they think on a much a higher level than we do.

THE MILKY WAY STORY

Having some fun with this, imagine you’re in The Mars Bar & Grill on a planet in a galaxy far, far away. The music is weird, yet great. The beings even weirder looking, yet attractive at the same time. It’s like you want to run out of that joint scared out of your wits, yet you want every single person in there to come to your house for the most epic post-pub Galaxian-themed afterparty.

You go to the ETATM (Extraterrestrial Automated Teller Machine) to pull out some celestial cash, when this hot purple-fleshed mama with 2 heads, 5 eyes and 7 boobies standing behind you taps on your shoulders with her 23 tentacles and says, “Hey, you’re pretty handsome. What planet are you from?”. To which you reply, “Earth”. She replies (assuming she’s a she), “Oh, I once dated an Earthling. He said his name was “Steve Joxz”. Or something like that. All I remember is he said he owned the most popular computer and mobile phone company on earth. Something with the name of a fruit.

When “Steve Joxz” said his computer company was named after a fruit, we both immediately hit it off, being that, A.) I’m a programmer analyst for the Corinthian Nebula Agency, and B.) I love fruit.”

So you sit down with this 2-headed, 5-eyed 7-boobied, 946-tentacled, purple-colored “gal” to chat more, as now you’re really intrigued on her escapade with Steve “Joxz”. This, knowing with the information, digital video and photos you will soon get from her, you’ll become an instant BILLIONAIRE upon your return home to Earth. She then says she’s receiving an interplanetary instant message in her mind from Steve (they don’t have smartphones, it’s all built into their brains, including the visuals). “Hi Steve-O! Hey guess what, baby doll. I’m sitting here chatting with another Earthling!”. Steve asks her, “What’s his name?” To which she asks you, “Honey, what is your name by-the-way?” To which you reply, “Larry”. She then tells Steve, “He says his name is Larry”. Steve barks back, “Is that that EFFIN’ PAGE!!!??? Put him on the line NOW!”

While you’re arguing away with who everyone thought was the “late” Steve Jobs, your new “multi-talented” extraterrestrial companion for the evening orders some interstellar appetizers and cocktails for the two-plus-three of you. In a VERY seductive human-sounding female voice, she requests, “Yes, may I have the Pluto Pizza, along with two Milky Ways on the rocks. #Shiaz’bout (thanks).”

Shoyu Ramen from Menya Ifu Do Do at Shirokiya’s Yataimura Food Court

iANSWER

Well, getting to it, If having to select something I LOVE to eat myself, my choice would be none other than authentic Japanese Shoyu Ramen. The same thing I claim on Yelp to be the last meal served to me on this beloved Mother Earth. For me, Japanese Shoyu Ramen embodies the universe of life. Every element, from the land to the sea, to our spiritual well-being, when done right, in perfect harmony. It quenches both hunger and thirst, yet more importantly, Ramen quenches the soul. To which I think an intelligent being higher than us would connect with more than any other dish on this planet.

On top of that, ramen is quick to eat and a complete meal in itself. Again with the presumption that not only are these extraterrestrial beings extremely intelligent, they’re also very busy, with many galaxies to transport beyond their stop on planet Earth.

Of course, the Shoyu Ramen I’d serve them doesn’t necessarily have to be made with pork and/or chicken, as likely an intelligent being would be highly against the slaughter and consumption of another sentient being, and they probably own Whole Foods. lol

As the cosmos has many colors, so does Ramen….


Akaton marutama shibori from Menya Ifu Do Do at Shirokiya’s Yataimura Food Court


Shiroton from Menya Ifu Do Do at Shirokiya’s Yataimura Food Court

As us humans search out other planets that show signs of life in the form of the existence of water, out of that water breeds life, where with ramen, is the noodles…


Shoyu Ramen from Menya Ifu Do Do at Shirokiya’s Yataimura Food Court

MORK CALLING ORSON

Well. Don’t mind me. I’ve been watching way too many episodes of ‘Ancient Aliens‘, I’m beginning to greet people with “Nanoo Nanoo“.

However, seriously, it’s all so fascinating! Don’t you think so? I do!

Do you believe in extraterrestrial life? If so, what form do you think they’re in? Have you ever experienced an alien abduction where you were taken aboard a spacecraft or another planet? Ever seen a UFO? A Foo Fighter?

For myself, nope. Nothing. No alien encounter nor UFO. Which I’m kinda’ bummed, as I really want to see for myself that they do exist, as personally, I believe we’re descendants of a higher race that are so much higher than us, throughout our history, we have no concrete proof they do exist. As one ‘Ancient Aliens’ episode historian was commenting about SETI (Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence), the day humans make contact and communicate with intelligent life from another planet, it will change our existence as we know it, from religion to science to sociology.

Do aliens such as those known as “greys” have emotions like us humans have? Or are they robotic computers, as many sci-fi films portray them? If given they’re biological, is their DNA far superior to us Earthling humans? If they eat, what is their diet? And if so, do they have a diverse cuisine more advanced than us humans have already developed? What is their lifespan? 24 hours like a fly, or 900 years like Yoda? Would you want to live 900 years? OK, anyhow, you get the point.

Again, the question is, Imagine if E.T. finally phoned home and was hungry. If you had to select one dish to serve to intelligent beings from another planet, what would you choose to serve them and why?

P.S. Ever since I started shaving my head bald (which I LOVE way better than having hair!), I always kinda’ thought I had sort of an alien-shaped skull. Check it out…

From that angle yeah, but Nah, pretty typical human male shaped head…

Here I caught two “aliens” (actually Diner E caught them)…


Pomai holding up two Tako (approx. 1.35 lbs. ea.) about to be cleaned, marinaded and smoked


Smoked Tako Charsiu Style

19 thoughts on “The Milky Way Story

  • August 25, 2013 at 11:41 am
    Permalink

    What can I say but it does look so sifi scary. Like you gone aliens hunting. First it was Godzilla you encounter at the beach now this alien.

    Reply
  • August 25, 2013 at 12:21 pm
    Permalink

    Amy,

    Like the Godzilla post, this one is mostly a fun play on my otherwise titled “Grindz of the Day” series. He-hee!!! :-)

    Reply
  • August 25, 2013 at 2:20 pm
    Permalink

    Pomai, great photo for a moment I freak out at looking at it.

    Reply
  • August 26, 2013 at 12:47 am
    Permalink

    At first I thought this not Tasty Island but a web that show strange and brizard things. Lately people been finding strange things that wash ashore on beaches in other part of the world

    Reply
    • August 26, 2013 at 5:27 am
      Permalink

      So, any suggestions on what you’d serve an extraterrestrial alien race, besides Mexican or leftover Chinese food?

      Reply
  • August 26, 2013 at 5:53 am
    Permalink

    If a spaceship landed in my backyard and its contents spilled out on my lawn rubbing their bellies, I would feel obligated to feed them.

    Got to be careful though. Your above mentioned Pandoran may vaporize me if I offered them serving tako poke. I think I would start off with cocktails first, kinda loosen them up, see what they like/don’t like. Maybe get on the internet and google some proteins and listen for their tummies to start rumbling (or safeties being taken off weapons). Bottom line: need to be diplomatic here. They have had a long flight. Probably pretty grumpy and tired. I have to be a good host. Or I get dead.

    Let’s say for continuation that all proteins are green lighted. I’d put on a pot of rice, start simmering some chicken adobo (because it smells so good when it is cooking-gotta offer both dark and light meat for those picky eaters), get the kids to start rolling some lumpia, order Dominos for delivery. As we power through my liquor cabinet, we can munch on pizza, watch football all casual, and after the game sit down at the dinner table for a proper meal.

    After dinner, it’s target practice in the backyard. Maybe they want to do some weapons trading. Later, I will get a tour of their spaceship and talk them into flying to Hawaii for some late night Zippys. Drive through of course. They WILL get my order right and no vibe for extra ketchup.

    Or a nice tossed salad sprinkled with Bac-Os while we watch Food Channel and find out that Andrew Zimmern was part of the advanced scout party.

    Reply
  • August 26, 2013 at 6:21 am
    Permalink

    “Safeties being taken off weapons”. Ha-ha! You must have experience in the military or law enforcement. These super intelligent E.T. beings would probably know your intentions before you knew your own intentions. There would be no criminal justice system because they telepathically through celestial means, prevented you from committing a crime before you even knew yourself you’d commit one (including attempting to injure or kill them).

    Interesting that you mention protein, as I believe that is the most common nutrient every living being on earth requires, amongst all other biological nutrients. That, and of course H2O; the latter of which was my principle reason for choosing Shoyu Ramen. And about them being grumpy is another reason I chose Shoyu Ramen, as at least for me personally, it truly enhances my mood. I’m much happier after havin’ a bowl!

    Dominos Pizza, Chicken Adobo and powering through your liquor cabinet with the alien race, aye? Dang! I can’t top that one! Whooooooo-haaaa!!!!!!

    For target practice, I’d choose picking off Tiger Sharks off Maui using their advanced stereo-magnetic weaponry from their space craft. However the aliens would probably throw me in the water with the tiger sharks and save me at the last minute from being seriously injured or killed, just so I become aware that the ocean is THEIR domain, not mine.

    I don’t think Aliens would use ketchup. Too red. Probably just relish. Really green Chicago style relish. Aliens wouldn’t be aliens unless they’re either really green or really grey. And speaking of Zippy’s, yup, Zipmin for them, except don’t put the shrimp tempura in there. They might get offended.

    Andrew Zimmern probably pisses aliens off to no ends with all the “Bizarre Foods” he eats. He’s like the aliens’ cannibalistic poster child. lol

    Reply
  • August 26, 2013 at 10:48 am
    Permalink

    Well I guess baluts is out . Maybe it it eat vegetarian type food like durian but maybe not smell pretty strong I still never eat it .

    Reply
    • August 27, 2013 at 5:01 am
      Permalink

      Vickie & Kelike,

      Indeed, I sure hope aliens don’t eat any type of meat for said reasons. Durian… ha-ha! That would a kinda’ fun blog topic: “Alien-looking foods”. That would have to include Bitter Melon, Durian, Dragon Fruit, Artichoke and on and on…

      Reply
  • August 26, 2013 at 1:09 pm
    Permalink

    Pomai, don’t let it taste meats for it might eat people. Put aliens on vegetarian diet and tell it more healthly.

    Reply
  • August 26, 2013 at 2:02 pm
    Permalink

    Offer it poi and some natto and tofu products it might like it. Unless you want to go chic and take it Vintage Cave. He He

    Reply
    • August 27, 2013 at 5:07 am
      Permalink

      Amy,

      I think you’re on the right track with Poi, Natto and Tofu. Definitely foods that are high in protein and soluble fiber.

      I’m also thinking they practice molecular gastronomy. Either that, or I watch too many sci-fi movies. lol

      Reply
  • August 27, 2013 at 4:02 am
    Permalink

    First thing, offer some drinks, put out some tame pupus like macadamia nuts, takuwan, etc. just to see what they might have a taste for, talk story for a while, find out what they eat; coming from off planet, they might have allergies (like the water in Signs). They may not even have teeth… (so maybe no beef jerky for pupus) or consume only liquids or energize using a photosynthesis-like process. But the most important thing to figgah out is to make sure I’m NOT on the menu! So keep the old .45 cal Colt Commander close at hand… LOL First contact stuff can be tricky… Just remember what the Hawaiians and Captain Cook went through… Thanks for the measles, VD and mosquitoes! And look what a European / Western diet has done to the Native Americans!

    Reply
    • August 27, 2013 at 5:34 am
      Permalink

      Keith,

      Takuwan is a “tame” pupu? lol Actually I never thought of having Takuwan as a pupu, however I shall try that! Sounds good! Good point about water allergies (immunity to bacteria). Andrew Zimmern made that points in one of his show in India, where he noted he couldn’t drink any water off the streets of New Delhi due to the risk of contracting hepatitis because his body isn’t immune to the bacteria strains in that region.

      No teeth, taking in nutrition via photosynthesis, or perhaps intravenously. If humans can get Vitamin D from UV rays, who’s to say that through evolution, we’d eventually be able to get all our essential body’s nutrients by the sun’s rays, not needing to actually eat? “Solar Cafes” would be doing gangbusters!

      But nah, I’d hate to think we’d reach an evolutionary point of not needing to eat, as that’s an important part of the human social experience.

      Aliens are probably well aware they’d contract many diseases if they made biological contact with humans. That’s why they stay in their spacecraft and just observe us. Smart move! They only make contact with us by taking the best humans from us and converting us to them. That’s what happened to Bruce Lee, Bob Marley, Michael Jackson and Steve Jobs. An example of people with otherworldly talent that left us way too soon.

      Reply
      • August 27, 2013 at 9:38 am
        Permalink

        Pomai:

        Or else they just get sent to Riverworld… I think maybe MIB is for real… LOL

        hey, just hit me: this blog is entitled “the Milky Way Story” but no picture of a Milky Way bar!

        Reply
  • August 27, 2013 at 4:46 am
    Permalink

    Not sure how long it could stand in earth atmosphere but while in Hawaii welcome it with a mai tai to relax it well. As for Vintage Cave it might cost Aliens his arms and legs for meals that of course he got arms and legs to began with. No another planet credit card unless it M/C or Visa.

    Reply
    • August 27, 2013 at 5:48 am
      Permalink

      Mike,

      Mike, hilarious one about costing them their “arms and legs” at Vintage Cave. Well, if aliens look anything like a tako, they’d probably steer their ship clear away from Japan if they knew what’s good for them. lol

      Reply
  • August 27, 2013 at 11:30 am
    Permalink

    Don’t freak Aliens out showing it dried squid to it . Might get so upset and attack human everywhere. If that happen called you friend Godzilla.

    Reply
  • September 1, 2013 at 5:57 pm
    Permalink

    Fun story, and interesting about the alien looking tako (I’m watching X-Files on Netflix). Seeing the pictures of the ramen reminds me…when I was in Hawaii, my last night there we ate at Goma tei…my first time eating at a ramen establishment. I ordered the miso ramen, non-spicy. It was okay, now I’m thinking I should have tried the spicy version.

    I visited Shirokiya, was kind of bummed that it had changed so much, they got rid of a lot of the retail stuff (housewares etc) on the second floor to make room for dining/food. I still love their pre-packed take-out and bentos.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this: