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Pfunny pFood pSigns

Updating this post on May 4, 2013, while not about food, we have Ofell’s Fashion, located on Hotel Street in downtown…

Awfully beautiful? Awfully gorgeous? Awfully fashionable? There’s “awful” which can  mean either awe-inspiring, or extremely unpleasant, bad or terrible. Then there’s “offal”, which is the trade term for the internal organs and entrails of a butchered animal. How lovely. This is an oxymoron at its finest. Ha! “Honey, I know you want to keep the business in the family name, but PLEASE, in this one case, can we PLEASE name it something else?… Brand’s Fashion would be good!”

Next up, on the corner of Kapiolani Boulevard and Kaheka Street, we have Angelo Pietro, located nextdoor to Shokudo…

So Angelo Pietro’s selling point that they’re so inclined to include on their restaurant’s business sign light box reads…

ANGELO PIETRO
PASTA, PIZZA, SALAD & SALAD DRESSING

OK. Alrighty then. That’s as good as McDonald’s sign saying…

McDonald’s
BURGERS, FRENCH FRIES & KETCHUP

Ya’ know? LOL!!!

“Parking in rear” also never sounded all that appetizing, either. I’d have said “Lots of parking!”

Finally, seriously, does this place, also located on Kapiolani Boulevard, REALLY need this “directory” sign out front?….

The choices. How complicating! “Hmmm, let me see. Am I looking for Seoul Garden Yakiniku? Or am I looking for Club Femme Nu?” Korean BBQ? Or kootch? Later that evening back home…. “But honey, I SWEAR the sign out front said I was at Seoul Garden Yakiniku…. I swear!” LOL!!!!

Original posting on February 27, 2013…

We’ve all seen signs, advertisements and product labels or packaging that were misspelled or grammatically incorrect, amongst other anomalies, coming across as being either funny, useless, confusing, to outright offensive and/or WRONG. The food & beverage and related retail sector of that industry is especially riddled with such misinformation in print.

Getting right to it, looking at the photo above and as followed, we have Blue Lotus “ShaveDice”. Now THAT my friends is being VERY insensitive about being cASe-Sensitive! LOL!!!

This, being a regular vendor at the Saturday morning KCC Farmers Market, where I once overheard a mainland tourist say it out loud and start laughing about it with his wife. I tell ya’, I almost fell to the ground rolling!

What’s even funnier is, not only was the typo’ applied to the banner, but to the menu as well!…

To add insult to injury, not only is that typographically incorrect, but also, these are local folks running this “joint”, where they should know the “Pidgin English code” that you NEVER say “Shaved Ice”. It’s “Shave Ice”. WTH?!!! I’m thinkin’ they’re purposely doing that to “stand out”. Never asked them, but I will this coming Saturday. Believe me!

Anyhow, I’m kinda’ thinking of them soft furry rolling dice them Chicano dudes hang on the rear view mirror of their lowriders. So like, when they get sick of their rear view mirror dice being furry, they shave it bald, hence “Shave Dice”. LOL!!!

Seriously though, Blue Lotus makes a mighty fine (literally and figuratively) shave ice (as good as Waiola), where you can see this happy keiki is about to enjoy…

Speaking of low riders and driving, Waianae truly is the “wild, wild west” of Oahu, where it isn’t uncommon to see cars drive right past police cruisers without a windshield, fender, door or expired license plates. Or all of the above. All without a care in the world, along with the occasional brazen bare-chested, 2-stroke uncapped exhaust dirt biker roaring past on the street popping wheelies, amongst other “interesting” things going on. If you don’t believe me, drive there yourself.

That in mind, here we see the priority this Waianae Sushi takeout restaurant is focusing on in promoting themselves, with this banner they have displayed along Farrington Highway in front of Waianae Mall where they’re located…

Never mind that they have a “Waianae Sushi Lunch Box Super Special!” combo set that includes a delicious Sushi bento, Miso soup, Azuki bean Manju and a medium drink for just $5.95 (not really, but that sounds enticing!). Oh, no, not all. That’s a great deal, but who cares about that around here? It’s that they accept EBT cards that’s important! LOL!!!

Even on their restaurant store front, we see the priority in marketing…

What would seriously crack me up, is if there were some tourists walking by, and I overheard their 5 year old kid ask, “Mommy, what’s EBT Sushi?” To which the mom replies, “Honey, I think the Japanese word for shrimp is “Ebi”. That must be a typo’.” LOL!!!

Any chance we’d see such signage at the Hawaii Kai Town Center? LOL!!!

Moving along, we’re now at Shirokiya in Ala Moana Center in their totally awesome new Yataimura Food Court on the second floor. Where as soon as you get up and off the escalator, this sign and poster greets you…

OK, let me get this straight: they don’t want me to stop and stand there and block people from the escalator egress area. Yet they want me to somehow — like Superman — quickly skim that detailed poster standing next to it, which lists virtually ever menu item from those food court vendors, along with possibly maybe read the fully detailed story about their history? Read all that without standing there? That’d be so awesome. If only I could do that, I could read the entire Library of Congress in one day! LOL!!!

Next up, sighted in Don Quijote Kaheka, while there’s many beautiful ones of these of the asian variety walking around, you’ll also find this…

Judging by the favorable online reviews (because, you know, everything you read online is true), I’m seriously gonna’ buy that some time soon and review it here. And I’ll do my best to constrain myself about the name. lol

Next up, check out this new environmentally-friendly household clean-up product, made in Hawaii out of 100% recycled materials…

Clever play on the Pake name there. In it are also 100% recycle paper and miscellaneous materials compost to absorb the oil…

That’s good ‘n dandy for all you tree huggers, however, what we really need for Honolulu’s Chinatown district is this!…

Modified Whoa! Fat™ box art courtesy of Pomai’s mad Kung Fu Photoshoppin’ “double chop” techniques (“Whah-tahhhhh!!!”)

Please note (in case you didn’t read the caption above), while Whoa! Fat™ is a real product, Whoa! Rat is NOT. Strictly Photoshop shinanigans by Yours Truly. Squeek, squeek. Sq..

For more information about the Whoa! Fat™ Kitchen Oil Disposal Box, please visit www.environmentalmanufacturing.com

Next up, all you folks that drive into town from the west side of Oahu on Nimitz, probably remember that liquor store on the corner of Puuhale and Nimitz, across McDonald’s, where their sign spelled Poke as “Poki”. That sign has since been changed. However, there’s this here Kapahulu Stop & Shop that also sells “Poki”…

They must have purposely done that as an ode to Sam Choy, who formerly had his signature restauarant just a block down the road above Hee Hing. Hee-hee!!! Poking fun at myself (pun intended), one of our vendors once mistook my name Pomai as “Poki”. He said in front of everyone in our office, “Howzit Poki!”. I tell ya’, we all practically fell to the floor laughing!

So from now on, if you can’t pronounce ‘Pomai’ correctly (which happens often), just call me “Poki”.

I’ll keep adding more to this post as I come across them and bump this post up front. If you’ve got any photos or stories of “Pfunny signs” related to food, please post them in a comment, or send ’em over, along with some “pfunny” commentary, and I’ll post it here!

Oh, and yes, I got the idea for the title of this post from Price Pfister’s slogan, “The Pfaucet with the Pfunny name”.

25 thoughts on “Pfunny pFood pSigns

  • February 27, 2013 at 8:18 pm
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    Maui Burger? You first.

    Reply
    • February 27, 2013 at 9:02 pm
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      Pat,

      Ummm…

      One of these kids aren’t like the others? (Sesame Street)

      Reply
    • February 27, 2013 at 9:04 pm
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      Ryan,

      Hilarious! Just a simple lack of spacing totally changes the meaning of that sign. On top of that, they said “Thanks”. LOL!

      I NEVER did use those silly faux stylus “pens”. Surely most folks know the touch screen works without it. As if that needed a sign to begin with.

      Reply
  • February 28, 2013 at 4:01 am
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    Pomai,

    Hope you going to see Byron Drive for last time today last day then ALOHA!

    Reply
    • February 28, 2013 at 10:42 am
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      Kelike,

      According to the news, the lines this morning were CRAZY, already wrapped around the building since 4am. Forget it. I already got my sampling of Byron’s, plus pretty good photos. Search my site (or Google images) and you’ll find it. ;-)

      P.S. There’s a few more additions (scroll down) in the “Pfunny pFood Labels” category.

      Reply
  • February 28, 2013 at 11:55 am
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    Pomai,

    Everything you talk about is normal for us on the west side! Why? Do they do things differently elsewhere on the island?? I really don’t think Waianae is the “wild, wild west” of Oahu as it’s all normal to us.

    From time to time you’ll find a saddled horse tied up in front of Starbucks on Farrington Hwy; normal for west side.

    A lot of times when I’m at a red light and look out the rear view mirror I’m looking at the under belly of a jacked up 4X off-road truck (driver must get a nose bleed from high altitude climbing in/out of truck); normal for west side.

    IN & Out Bar. B. Q. is really a Korean Barbeque eat in or take out with plenty of banchan to choose from. They added sushi on the side. I tried their sushi once (a 1 musubi). I prefer Japanese Sun Sushi freshly made to order (a 3 musubi best on west side) next to Tacos and More.

    Speaking of Tacos and More they are expanding adding Sunday Brunch 10am to 3pm with live background music. They will be stretching the bar all along the rear of the two rooms and adding a stage for entertainment.

    Reply
    • February 28, 2013 at 4:03 pm
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      Ken-san,

      I could totally live out in Waianae and get used to the laid back beach-side country lifestyle once again. I lived that lifestyle for a couple years a long time ago when I lived in a beach house near Kualoa Ranch on the northern windward coast, and LOVED IT. I swear, those were some of the best times of my life. I’d go back and live there in a heartbeat.

      Speaking of Tacos and More, I have that on my backburner to review here. I already reviewed them on Yelp, however not here yet. I also owe you that Chorizo review. Coming soon!

      Reply
  • February 28, 2013 at 8:06 pm
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    lol I can smell marketet on you. I would know kinda. I had 2 marketing classes an I became very aware of my environment.

    hmm spelling not my high point.

    Reply
    • March 1, 2013 at 7:18 am
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      Ed,

      As far as my day job (and here), you’ve hit it on the nail.

      Look s l ike yu’r e tipyng form a fone.:-P

      Reply
  • March 1, 2013 at 12:47 pm
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    Too pfunny pfomai!

    Oh yeah, Happy Birthday Bro!

    Where we going eat for your birthday? :)

    Reply
    • March 1, 2013 at 3:54 pm
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      Mahalo Diner A!

      Birthday party will be in the Kaka’ako area.

      Reply
  • March 2, 2013 at 6:18 pm
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    Shave ice, shaved ice, shave dice – I just wish there was some place that sold it around here! (Here being the entire mid-Atlantic and New England region.)

    As far as those “pfunny” signs, my friend and I made Sign Fail bingo cards once – they had categories like misplaced apostrophe, inappropriate quotation marks, unintentionally inappropriate name, and bad font choices (I saw a van for a painting company yesterday; because they chose to use “&” instead of “and”, it looked like they were “Interior Sexterior Painters”!)

    Reply
    • March 2, 2013 at 7:01 pm
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      Liz,

      I’m curious which would sell more of in New England: Shave Ice? Shaved Ice? Shave Dice? or Snow Cone? I’m also curious which flavors would be popular there. Rainbow is always my choice, with Coconut, Strawberry and Banana. Pretty simple. And no, I’m not gay. lol

      Next time you come to Honolulu, you gotta’ check out Shimazu Shave Ice on School Street in Kalihi, a.k.a. “God’s Country”, a.k.a. “The Center of Hawaii’s Food Universe”. Shimazu’s offers all kine exotic flavors, like Red Velvet Cake and Creamsicle Shave Ice, along with Haupia (sweetened coconut) and Li Hing sauce toppings, to name a few. Ooh! Got you now!

      Reply
  • March 3, 2013 at 5:25 pm
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    Black Butte Porter is *very* popular around here (Oregon). And that’s Butte, with an ‘e’ at the end, pronounced like ‘cute’. It’s a type of geological formation, usually in deserts, kind of like a mesa. lol! Too funny!

    Reply
    • March 4, 2013 at 5:31 am
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      Ann,

      Spelling-wise, Black Butte, the latter pronounced “Bute” to rhyme with “Cute” wouldn’t make sense, as “Butte” with two T’s shortens the word. Bute, yes. Butte, no.

      Then again, “Black Bute” could work just as well, sounding more “PC” if you will, like a shortened version of “Black Beauty”.

      Then again, I’m thinking too hard about this. Monday morning, getting ready for work? I could go for some Black @ss right about now. LOL!!!

      P.S. I added yet another pFunny sign. See the last photo above in this post. This one’s dedicated to Sam Choy. :P

      Reply
      • March 4, 2013 at 10:07 am
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        I see your point…gotta love/hate the English language and all its subtleties! I love this article, you should make this a regular feature!

        Reply
  • May 4, 2013 at 4:34 pm
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    The Angelo Pietro sign absolutely cracked me up. I guess it’s good for them to differentiate themselves from all those other non-dressed salad serving restaurants.

    I actually had to google them out of curiosity. The first option after typing angelo pietro was “angelo pietro salad dressing” so I guess they are quite known for that. But the bottles… the bottles are quite interesting (either that or I have a really dirty mind).

    Reply
    • May 4, 2013 at 5:04 pm
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      h,

      What it really should simply say is “JAPANESE ITALIAN FUSION”, which in a nutshell is what they’re all about. Or, “Italian with a Japanese Twist!”

      http://www.angelopietro.com/

      And yes, you do have a dirty mind. Naughty, naughty h. I’d NEVER have thought that until you mentioned it. lol

      Seriously though, their dressings are really good. As you might expect, soy sauce and miso is the key ingredient in them. We also have a brand called Tropics, who makes a most excellent Oriental Dressing. If interested, I’ll send you a bottle of each.

      Reply
      • May 4, 2013 at 5:51 pm
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        Their dressings DO look delicious! If you’d like to send some, I’ll trade some regional goodies from here.

        As for being naughty… have I shattered my innocent, good girl image? :-D As for the bottles, now that I’ve mentioned it, you can’t tell me that you can unsee it, right?

        Reply
        • May 4, 2013 at 6:25 pm
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          Shattered. Completely. From now on it’s “Naughty h”. lol

          You got a deal. However, you’re probably going to want to send something from your home town of Florida, not DC, right? Whatever the case, no rush.

          Reply
  • May 4, 2013 at 6:54 pm
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    I thought about doing a little of both. More interesting things from my native land (things I can still get my hands on), but here in MD (I live in the DC burbs, in MD, 9mi from the city), we have a few interesting things, like old bay and crab flavored potato chips, etc. But most of the interesting things will be cuban-american from FL (Santeria candles may or may not be included)

    – “naughty h”

    Reply
    • May 4, 2013 at 7:06 pm
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      h,

      Old Bay and Crab flavored Potato Chips sounds interesting. Anything Cuban would be great too. Not much Cuban stuff around here. In fact, only one restaurant I can think of called Soul De Cuba, who gets really good reviews.

      http://souldecuba.com/

      Try go back and take a look at the post I did recently on “Costco Made in Hawaii Eats” and see if there’s anything there of particular interest to you. It will give me an idea of what you like. Dark or Milk Chocolate covered Macadamia Nuts? Can you eat nuts? Milk? Etc. Whatever interests you most.

      The Pietro and Tropics Dressing is already in the box.

      Reply
      • May 5, 2013 at 6:03 pm
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        I don’t have any nut allergies, and dairy is fine as well. My only restriction is animal-based stuff (broth, flavoring, etc.). Other than that, surprise me. I’ll send you Cuban stuff (with recipes and/or serving suggestions), some MD goodies and other misc. things, including some Mushroom BTB.

        Reply

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